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so that would put 8" at a size 3.
I don't think that's correct, 8" is a size 4, but 3.5" is "wide" for an small shoe size, small size shoes are more narrow that average size shoes, I have never have seen a shoe less of a size 5 in wide, I don't think they exist.
I wear a size 4.5 - 5 (5=35 not a 36 ), I can wear a 35.5 too, with a 8.5" long and barely 3" wide, I have the opposite problem that you, most shoes are too wide for me, specially at the heels.
Are you tried a rounded style type of shoes, I mean something like
Naya shoes? I think they are cute and probably will fit you better that pointed styles.
